The olevels is over, competition is over too. Just when I thought the end of olevels deserves great joy, the competition seems to have eaten joy up. ): perhaps this year would be the most depressing year of my life. I could, you know, do very badly for olevels and also fail my diploma. I'm already on my way to depression after my failure in the competition. However like the story of the footprints, God lifted me up during that suposedly devastating time of my life. I clearly remember how it went. I enjoyed myself on stage.. The results only came out the day after while I was in the midst of childaid rehearsal. It was during the rehearsal when I got the bad news in the most indirect way. So it didn't hit me. I was just in shock while the orchestra was playing festive overture. It was only during the break where my shock turned to disappointment and you know, tears. Ze was with me the whole time, in fact she was the only one whom I allowed to stay by my side. I guess she saw how I stared at the scenery I drop my first tear, then second. It was a whole 10min of crying. Ze was just beside me, 50cm away. She didn't say anything, my sobbing took over our conversation. After that 10min, I held my tears back cause rehearsal had to resume. Throughout the rehearsal, I could feel God comforting me. I didn't realise it was Him all along who helped me through this difficult time. I had another crying session for another 10min at home and that was all. Somehow, God told me, that's enough and I stopped. For the next few days, tears would only come when someone calls me a loser. I do admit that I'm one but I hate to remind myself that I'm one cause I've been trying to work on it for a long time.

So life goes on. I keep myself occupied with childaid and diploma which I know will cause me to be upset when I fail but I'm prepared for the worst considering that I only got my scores 2 weeks ago, I can't expect much from myself anyway.

Through this year's pv competition, I'm sure many have various reactions to it. Some, like me, may be very disappointed. While others are very encouraged by the results. No matter what, life goes on. As long as sun rises, there is hope, there is life.









  

  
   My insect of the day: monster




- Posted using BlogPress
  

  
  











- Posted using BlogPress

  

  
   I cannot imagine myself completing the olevels... It seems so distant and unreachable yet when I look at things from a glance, freedom is almost there.

So far, only less than half the papers are over.. I still have a whole mountain and papers and a sky of words to write. ): sigh. Remind me to be happy when exams are over. ):

Time passes really slowly now...




To keep me alive. (:

- Posted using BlogPress
  

  
  
So much for the first paper!! Now it's time for math. Four days of numbers... Before the real torture comes in. I've decided not to talk much about the English paper just in case I realise my error and start to moan over it. Anyway, I have to thank God for giving me peace in my mind when I was about to panick yesterday. So 9 more days (of exams not including days when I have no paper) and the bigger challenge will come!!

Perhaps olevels is less tiring compared to what's awaiting me next month.

But I still can't wait to break free from my studies!!!





That dolphin is sarasate... The amazing cold blooded hard-to-soft toy!! And don't forget the rabbit, gqr, who once conducted strings. (: I miss those times...


- Posted using BlogPress

  

  
   Lord, I offer you my life. Even though I do not know what is ahead of me, let me learn to trust in You so that when I look back, I'll realise how my life has been wonderfully planned by You. I may plan my steps but the Lord determines them. Everything that I've been through has a purpose which has been made meaningful by the Lord.

My first paper, English, will be starting in a few hours time... Thankfully I'm not panicking or worrying that much. Or perhaps I was worrying unconsiously in my dreams. I didn't sleep well and had weird dreams too. Sigh. Hope it doesn't affect me. Strangely, I still can't imagine myself taking the paper and I feel that olevels will never end... It seems like a short journey from a glance but I can't imagine myself being free from those books!! So I'll see how the first paper goes today... Can't wait!(:







- Posted using BlogPress
  

  
   I had a fun day... Which is bad. Until this day, I cannot imagine myself spending half my time in the hall doing papers!! What if I come across a question which I cannot solve? Or what if I get a brain block?? Ohno. ): there're too many things to worry about. This worrying is endless so I'm going to try to control my thoughts. Here's the fun I had:



This is limze. Hehe.



That's me. (:







(:
- Posted using BlogPress